For me, Emily Dickinson does not stand out in my mind as one of America's best poets, however, aspects of her personality intrigued me. I have heard it said that she might have been agoraphobic. Agoraphobia is a severe anxiety disorder in which the person affected is scared to leave their environment, such as their home, and often translates into their social situations as well. While it is not know for sure if Dickinson was agoraphobic, I think it is clear she dealt with an anxiety disorder. Having a bi-polar/schizophrenic sister, I felt some of Dickinson's pain in her poem "I felt a Funeral". For me I saw a woman who is pressured to be "normal" when she clearly feels different. Of course, in the mid-1800's there would have been no explanation for Emily's anxiety--except maybe some bad airs.

I chose this video to accompany the poem because it is a guy talking about his own agoraphobia. There are a lot of parallels between his story and Dickinson's. Most notably is the anxiety he has about going to the grocery store. Dickinson eventually got to the point that she would not do her own shopping. Instead her brother in law would take her her groceries. Dickinson's belief that her home was somehow a sacred place, holy even, further convinces me that she was dealing with this invisible disease.

I felt a Funeral, in my Brain,

And Mourners to and fro

Kept treading - treading - till it seemed

That Sense was breaking through -

And when they all were seated,

A Service, like a Drum -

Kept beating - beating - till I thought

My mind was going numb -

And then I heard them lift a Box

And creak across my Soul

With those same Boots of Lead, again,

Then Space - began to toll,

As all the Heavens were a Bell,

And Being, but an Ear,

And I, and Silence, some strange Race,

Wrecked, solitary, here -

And then a Plank in Reason, broke,

And I dropped down, and down -

And hit a World, at every plunge,

And Finished knowing - then -